A Girl Fight, Not Cute!‏

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 Why do women put other women down?

It might be cute for our baby dolls to brawl but it’s not so cute for us. I believe it stems from insecurity. They could be envious of what the other women can have and they themselves can’t have. To lift themselves up via hurting someone, which they may not even be conscious of, but it happens more often than not.

We’re led to believe its ‘normal’ for women to be ‘catty’ with each other, to give each other less respect than we would a man. Competition and jealousy can be natural reactions when women are set up to survive in a culture where we’re led to believe we have to fend for ourselves.

“Bitchy Behavior” is not exclusive to young girls, it happens at all ages! Jealousy is rampant among girls and women. I frequently see women react with thinly veiled jealousy when they see other women stepping up and claiming a level of entitlement they can only dream of. An entitlement they either don’t know how to, or don’t feel entitled to claim for themselves.

Female jealousy is a natural reaction to our collective experience of being invisible and starved for attention. You might find it difficult to see other women lavish themselves with attention, entitlement, self-worth and self-care when you are starving for that within. If you fail to recognize how starved you really are, putting another woman down is the by-product.

There’s a dirty little (or maybe it’s big) secret within women’s relationships. Underneath the popular image of women having excellent relationship skills lays a reality that blocks our ability to support, protect and fight for each other. Remember how excited you were in your “tweens” when you played with your baby dolls. Something is causing women to hate each other, to feel jealous of each other and to tear each other down. It’s critical we understand this pattern if we are to enjoy complete visibility and equality, because without it, we are in danger of sabotaging our own progress.

I grew up in New Orleans & remember sitting on the porch eating crabs & crawfish out of the bucket. I have to tell you it was quite yummy. To this day I love crab cakes & shrimp cocktail but we as women must stop “The Crab In The Bucket Mentality”. As soon as one tries to escape and manages to get to the top of the bucket, the others pull the brave & benevolent one back down. Fear of not being liked, of being alone, or being left behind. We must take a stance to refrain from pulling each other back down to where it is safe, familiar but terribly sad.

Stepping into your feminine power…

Women are wired to want and need connection with other women. We need to be heard and supported by other women, and when we don’t we experience a crushing loss.

There was a time in my life when I longed to have meaningful relationships with other women. It was always a problem but today I am in a supportive community filled with extraordinary women. The saying “together we stand, divided we fall” is not a fairytale slogan. Together we are a force to be reckoned with. Divided and alone makes it harder to stand up and step into our true feminine power & flourish.

We must dance, live out loud, celebrate each other and exchange kind words. I suggest implementing “The Beauty Exchange”. Complimenting each other every day can make the world even more decadent…one chick at a time. I’m so glad I played with baby dolls when I was growing up.

I wish more women would unite and have the feeling of sisterhood rather than trying to keep their fellow sisters down. I don’t think it is psychological, I think it is sociological.

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